A lot's been on my mind lately as I reflect upon life...

I look at a ton of drafted posts, which serves as a metaphor to my life. It seems there's a collection of moments, projects, what-have-you that aren't complete, but are in the works. My mind is cluttered and so is my desk. Clutter does strange things to people, but for the "neat freak" perfectionist I am, it gives me major stress. But for some reason, unbeknown to me, I don't clean it up. I leave the clutter - the empty bottles, pencils out of the jar, old school assignments, etc - just sitting there adding to my anxiety until I finally reach my breaking point of focus and clean it up.

I just wish I could freeze time to get a mop out and clean up the imperfections of my life. < That wasn't intended to sound cheesy, but real. I wish every day could start having 8 hours of heavy sleep behind me. I wish healthier meals were more realistic and easier to encounter. I wish being fit and active wasn't work. (In fact, why does "working out" have to involve work? Why can't it be easy to be thin and muscular?) I wish the words I spoke went through a computerized filter telling me if the bite in the behind later. I've always viewed myself as a good person, but in this society we often doubt ourselves. We doubt our own strength and confidence. I need reassurance in my life more often than not. Isn't it funny how life can get in the way of life?

I've also decided I'm going to adopt a new outlook to life if you will. "Let it go, for it's only life!" I'm a living testament to how worrying and stressing out can lead to entire misery. Forget what other people think, for you can't control them. If people want to talk about you, they are going to talk about you. You have to accept the things you cannot change. < I truly believe that this is my hardest challenge in life. I worry to much about negative connotation toward my name. All that truly matters is the fact that YOU know the good in you.

My childhood has consisted of much negativity in my school environment. These are things I have overcome, but they will forever remain an aspect of my childhood. What my school has given me in return is a priceless artistry of overcoming conflict. My school has given me the knowledge to not let anyone stand in my way up on the ladder of success.

Family has gotten me through everything. My family has taught me to love and cherish the everyday. My family has taught me to love God.

XOXO,
Sarah Elizabeth