Unanswered Prayers

"Sometimes I thank God, for unanswered prayers
Remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he don’t care
Some of God’s greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers."
Quoted From Garth Brooks' Unanswered Prayers

Just Some Thoughts On My Mind:

I know that I spend more time praying than probably just about any other "thing" in my life. Before you think I am some amazing Catholic, let me further explain. I pray for myself: whether it be the strength for the task, day, or struggle; something on my wish list; or for others. However, when I pray for others, I feel like I am praying for myself. Follow this scenario:

Let's say for instance I pray that our family can cut out certain technology use to grow closer. {Not that this would EVER go over well in my household!!} Yes, I am wanting it for the wellbeing in all of us, but deep down I feel it's mostly for myself.

God has blessed me with such an amazing life and so many wonderful things within it. I have had the opportunity to experience and take part in so many amazing happenings. I have a great family that has instilled me wonderful morals and values. This list could go on for days, but I am so amazingly grateful.

Something that I truly believe has been beneficial to my personal growth is seeing and growing to know those less fortunate than I. Essentially, it has made me more aware of the world around me and much more grateful for all the good in my life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

However, I often allow myself to think I'm a bad person. Am I? I would hope not, especially since I strive to be the best person I can each day. I fall short of my goals each day. I make mistakes. Often, people tell me that noticing this is the important thing, but I don't know how much I believe it. Yes, it's important to realize our shortcomings, but what's the good if we can't change and better ourselves. I try, I really do, but I always manage to mess everything up.

And lately, as I reflect upon myself and my past, I am so eternally grateful to God for my unanswered prayers. I am grateful to him for allowing me to make mistakes, to push through the hard times, to dream big, perhaps unrealistic dreams, and more than anything for my sensitivity. 

I wish to be stronger, but at the end of the day, I am me!!! I care perhaps too much for other's feelings. I care too much about what I think I do wrong. I take things personally, and assume others do to. That essentially makes me so much more of a caring person.

GOD SHOWED ME WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE HURT WITH THE INTENTION TO CARE FOR OTHERS!!

So, you know, I might care too much, but I don't want others to hurt. I don't want others to bear pain, at least the pain I can reduce.

Goodnight! Go give your family a hug and thank the Lord.

Because tonight, I am thanking the Lord for my unanswered prayers!

May the Lord Bless You All Tonight,

Sarah Elizabeth

Uncertainty Lurking

I'm not sure what to say right now. Everything around me seems to be a blur. My room, closet, and bathroom are a mess cluttered with clothes lying about. Summer school courses are in full swing and make me dread the awaited summer days. But life is good. I'm alive, well, healthy, and breathing. I have wonderful family and am beginning to make some magnificent friends. I'm working towards my dream body twice a week with a personal trainer. And I'm starting to focus more on what I eat, trying to balance some more health beneficial foods to my diet. I am happy. I never realized saying those three words could be so calming, reassuring, and above all, for the first time in a long time, true. Slowly, but surely, I feel myself wanting to laugh at the ever-going pettiness of those middle-school bullies. When I think of them and their actions, I feel anger exude within me, but then the Lord sends me the reassuring message of temporary pain and the greatest fact of life: it moves on. So when I see their latest text or Instagram post, I laugh, more of a chuckle, to myself. "Do you really think you're all that?" I ask myself. I know the answer, but I can't change it, so that leaves me with one choice: accept the things you cannot change.

So now, I pray:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

That's what I seek now, serenity. 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6

My mom has always said to me, "He who angers you controls you." Everyday, I realize how much more true this is. I'm tired of letting these people control me, so now I can't allow them to anger me. I have to regain control of myself. 

May God Bless,

Sarah Elizabeth

Within These Walls {Our Home's Rulebook}

I love my family. Not the blow-me-away first sentence you were expecting, but it's all truth. My family guides me through life, encourages me to open new doors, and can't lift me up high enough. With this, I could sit here all day and tell you things I wish we could do better, the petty arguments we have, or the constant battle finding the perfect balance of family time. Within us all, there is the need to fulfill "normalcy." Normalcy has simply now become an image. An image that individuals seek to fulfill. The funny thing about it is that this so called "normal" doesn't exist. So many people live out their days searching for something that's extinct, or maybe something that never existed. As much as I may sound like I have it all figured out, I don't. Part of me cares too much about what other people will think of me and my family.

Back to within the walls of our house, which is now truly a home. Our home isn't perfectly clean or new, it's simply lived in. Our meals aren't home-cooked, like other families, but they are equally delicious. Our mornings aren't stress-free and easy going, in fact, they couldn't be more chaotic. But within our home are the ingredients for happiness: faith, hope, and love. We might not make it to mass every Sunday, it's a flaw within our home, but we live each day with our virtues and Catholic values. We hope to please God and each other at the end of each day. And always, no matter what, we love. We love our friends, our neighbors, our enemies, each other, and God.

So now are official un-published "family rules":

• Within these walls, we live for God.
• Within these walls, we always do OUR best.
• Within these walls, we give hugs and kisses.
• Within these walls, we pray away our troubles.
• Within these walls, we help each other.
• Within these walls, we apologize for our wrongdoings.
• Within these walls, we share.
• Within these walls, WE LOVE!

I'm sure I'm forgetting many things, but our house wouldn't be a home if we were classified as "normal."

Many things are blooming in my life. I'm happy. I'm ready for all the greatness right before my eyes. More on my upcoming happenings this week.

God Bless!

XOXO,

Sarah Elizabeth

The lifelong search for freedom

There's so much security that comes along with childhood. And many children, especially by their teenage years live in a constant battle of fighting away this "security." As we age, we become more certain of our knowledge and wisdom. We believe that we're right, and for that we become righteous. The path to adulthood seems like a search for freedom, one that we will sooner regret. Why wish this time of complete security away? 

For the past few months, I've dreamt of freedom, but what I realize now, is that what I actually dreamt was peace. The more I think about it, freedom and peace go hand in hand. As I am entering high school, I see more freedom coming my way. It saddens me because I see the security of my childhood years fading away. 

Part of this is reassuring, it proves that life goes on. Even the hardest, most painful things are only temporary. 

The seek for freedom, peace, and security exists eternally in all of our lives. We'll encounter times where we find it, but it's temporary. So now, I fully understand the saying "It's the journey," "Enjoy the journey." While seeking freedom, life is in front of us waiting to be lived. So we might envision this freedom and peace as our destination, but truly it is simply the journey in finding it that fulfills with that gift at the end. The Lord serves as our security more and more as we struggle and at the end of our time here on earth, he rewards us with freedom, peace, and security in the promised land forever. 

The journey is supposed to be filled with much, so now, we wait. Turning the page to continue writing. Thank you friends, for encouraging me for keeping up this blog. Please comment! :-)


XOXO,
Sarah Elizabeth

***sorry for the background on the text, I couldn't figure out how to undo it! oops!

Love

**Please pardon my choppiness in this article. These were things I needed to say, but I could've ranted on for eternity! Thank you!

We've seen the romance movies, we've read the books: love does crazy things to people. In these instances, we are referring to "romantic" love, something I'm too young to feel for myself. But, I believe that all love can do crazy things to people. The love for our family, our friends, even in bizarre cases, our enemies. Because deep down, I believe it is the human nature to love all. People can let us down, they can frustrate us, but they can't change who we are.

When I think about my life so far, I think of first my family. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for them. But the aspect that has been weighing heavily on my mind lately is the older people in my life, our good family friends is you will. Even those people I don't really know that leave such an impact on my life. For instance, every morning my mom and I go to McDonald's before school and I get a smoothie and what not. And every morning, the woman who takes our order always smiles and spreads joy. She says "Have a GREAT day!" and truly means it. By looking at her, you can tell she has had struggles in her life, but everyday she shows up at work and spreads joy to people like myself, who need it most. She is a person filled with love. She truly lives by Christ by her small morning act, that has forever shaped my life. To not see her every morning brings tears to my eyes. If something terrible were to happen to her, I would go into mourning, and it would hit me really hard, yet I don't even know her name. I love her in a completely different way, a way that is lost without a name and is growing each day in my life. You could name it many things: "Samaritan Love," even as family, but she's not.

I strive to love my neighbor each day. And I truly believe I fulfill this most days. (There are times I fall WAY short!!) But there is something about this woman that I cherish, and I hope someday I will gain: her love for life, her love for others, her love for waking up to see another sunrise, her smile, her gratefulness for all the good in her life. I believe that right now is a difficult time in my life. I'm establishing who I am and who I want to be. I want the characteristics that she lives out each day. I want to love and be grateful for all the good that lie before me. I want to wish farewell to greed and bitterness. My values and morals will be tested all throughout my life, but by loving God, I will learn and hopefully make the right choice.

Before I wrap things up, I want to tell you that the way this post ended was not how I planned it to be about from the beginning, but I am speaking from my heart. Sorry for the poor writing! :-)

"For the Lord is telling you, 'the right time is now, the day of salvation is now!'"

May your days be filled with infinite hope.

XOXO,
Sarah Elizabeth

Who knew a poster could leave such an impact?

My seventh-grade teacher always hung this poster in her classroom that read,

"30 years from now, it won't matter what shoes you wore, how your hair looked, or the jeans you bought, but will matter is what you learned an how you used it!"

I think what I love so much about this is how reassuring it is. It teaches us to look BIG picture, instead of micromanaging all the aspects of our life.

I'm leaving you with this. Ponder it. Explore new ideas, and open new windows.

A reference to my last post:
"Life's a Climb, but the view is GREAT!"

XOXO,
Sarah Elizabeth

Fear

It is past midnight, and my summer school enrichment program (at my future high school) starts "bright eyed and bushy tailed" tomorrow morning. But for some reason, I can't sleep. Am I nervous? Yes, but not excessively. Am I scared? Yes, I am scared of doing something embarrassing or making a bad first impression. And as I am trying so very hard to shake my fears and nerves away, I think of how fear prevents us from making giant leaps and bounds in our lives.

When Civil Rights was BIG, think of all the people who revolutionized the history books. Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr. to name a few. These people did things that many weren't able to do because others were too scared.

Think of those who left England to come to America to create a good life for themselves. Was it easy? Breaking away from Britain's reign soon after was also another feat that otherwise wouldn't have been mastered.

Everyday people like you and I prevent daily life from greatness because of our fear to be different, or our fear to fail.

This leads me to my next point, fear of failure. I think that fear overrides all of my other fears combined. I fear not being good enough, not succeeding, or in juvenile terms "screwing up." I want to do amazing things in my life, but in order to do that, I have to delete my fear of failure. So, I believe now (in the month of June), I have finally found my "New Year's Resolution" if you will,  I'm going to start living, I am going to allow life to happen, and I am going to accept the things I cannot change. If I fail, I get up and start over again. Isn't that what life is all about? Learning and accepting to learn.

I see my future. There are mistakes, not regrets, because if it weren't for the mistakes I'll make, I would never reach my climax - my full potential. I see many mess-ups and re-dos. I see many "I'm Sorry!" apologizes. But if I search hard, behind all the negatives, I see someone who is happy, who is doing what she loves, and who through all the ups and downs, finally reached her climax.

So now, I guess I have to catch some Z's. So I'm holding on, pray for me as I walk into high school with my head held high. You may have to walk in the valley, but eventually you will reach the top of the mountain. As Miley Cyrus ( a somewhat bizarre reference ) sang, "Life's A Climb!" So I have got all my hiking/ climbing gear (you're right it's pink!), and I'm walking through the valley to start my climb upwards, if I fall, it's just another chance to climb back up again. Life's a climb, but the view is great.

God Bless,
Sarah Elizabeth

Hear Jesus Calling

Can you hear Jesus calling?

"I am with you, watching over you constantly. I am Immanuel; My presence enfolds you in radiant Love. Nothing can separate you from Me."

God is always there? In the battle for what we need.

He expects us to make mistakes. He expects us to fall short. He forgives.

He doesn't "shun" us when we do wrong.

He doesn't deny us as his children.

God's love is infinite. He always loves us!

God Bless today. Go serve our father. Spread the Word of Christ. And Smile. Smile Big and Wide!

A lot's been on my mind lately as I reflect upon life...

I look at a ton of drafted posts, which serves as a metaphor to my life. It seems there's a collection of moments, projects, what-have-you that aren't complete, but are in the works. My mind is cluttered and so is my desk. Clutter does strange things to people, but for the "neat freak" perfectionist I am, it gives me major stress. But for some reason, unbeknown to me, I don't clean it up. I leave the clutter - the empty bottles, pencils out of the jar, old school assignments, etc - just sitting there adding to my anxiety until I finally reach my breaking point of focus and clean it up.

I just wish I could freeze time to get a mop out and clean up the imperfections of my life. < That wasn't intended to sound cheesy, but real. I wish every day could start having 8 hours of heavy sleep behind me. I wish healthier meals were more realistic and easier to encounter. I wish being fit and active wasn't work. (In fact, why does "working out" have to involve work? Why can't it be easy to be thin and muscular?) I wish the words I spoke went through a computerized filter telling me if the bite in the behind later. I've always viewed myself as a good person, but in this society we often doubt ourselves. We doubt our own strength and confidence. I need reassurance in my life more often than not. Isn't it funny how life can get in the way of life?

I've also decided I'm going to adopt a new outlook to life if you will. "Let it go, for it's only life!" I'm a living testament to how worrying and stressing out can lead to entire misery. Forget what other people think, for you can't control them. If people want to talk about you, they are going to talk about you. You have to accept the things you cannot change. < I truly believe that this is my hardest challenge in life. I worry to much about negative connotation toward my name. All that truly matters is the fact that YOU know the good in you.

My childhood has consisted of much negativity in my school environment. These are things I have overcome, but they will forever remain an aspect of my childhood. What my school has given me in return is a priceless artistry of overcoming conflict. My school has given me the knowledge to not let anyone stand in my way up on the ladder of success.

Family has gotten me through everything. My family has taught me to love and cherish the everyday. My family has taught me to love God.

XOXO,
Sarah Elizabeth

Change is in the air

       

       A good family friend to my family has always said, "No one likes change but a wet baby!" Growing up, my lifestyle never really faced change, so part of me always dreamt change, for I believed it to be new and exciting. Yes, those can very well be the characteristics of change, but not always. Currently, I feel like I have had an overdose of change. One of my only friends is moving away to Colorado, I am entering high school, my childhood seems to be fading away, and that is just the start. With change comes fear and anxiousness, anxiety and nervousness, but with change can come a new perspective, a needed perspective. I'm ready for the change ahead, but I'm bracing myself for what could be a bumpy ride. The say it is all about the journey, so my seatbelt is buckled, let's go!

We may not be sure where change is going to take us, but change is inevitable, so be positive and enjoy the journey!

         If you think about it, every good thing blossoms from change. Yes, bad things can come from change, but seek the good. In fact, I feel this is the perfect time to give an example to how a once negative change can easily become a positive. I was reading an inspirational article about an older woman who been diagnosed with cancer. She never married or had children. She never accomplished anything major. She simply lived in the shadows of others. If others looked upon her life, they might view her as a bit depressed. When she was diagnosed, she knew her life had to change, so she changed.  She began to change her life. She ate healthier, dressed in bright colors, and started caring about herself. She beat cancer, she stayed strong, and she became happy. 

"God knows what we need, and he has called us upon him to listen."

Sorry for the bad-quality picture, I just loved the message.

          Perception is everything in life. It's how we perceive situations, how we react to change, and how we live our life. In order to have a breakthrough, you have to change your perception. This is so much easier said than done!! So now, I give you this week's inspiration:

Love Yourself

Have Faith

Allow Yourself to be Happy

Life's changes are infinite. They will always exist.

       When I began blogging today, I left my room a mess. My mom told me to sort through all my clothes for a closet clean-out. I'm stressed because of the mess, because of the change, because of the lack of control. I have to send thank-you notes to some children in my school who were so super-sweet in giving me gifts and cards for graduation. The notes are done, but the directory with all the addresses is yet to be found, so I can't send them out. Another stress factor. It's the first week of summer break and I already feel behind. I also have to do a MAJOR clean-out of our home office/ homework space, which could honestly take 1,000 years to finish. Oh, and wait until you hear this. I'm doing a Summer School Enrichment Course at my future high school. It is basically where you can take a class, and then gain an elective or study hall over the school year. So I am taking an 18-day course from 8 A.M. to 3:30 P.M. each day. Please pray for me, so that I have a positive attitude and stay organized. Thank you!!

   So now, I leave you. I am holding on for dear life! Ha! I'm embracing life, enjoying the journey... Who wants to join me on the pursuit of happiness?!?!