Hello to anyone who may happen to stumble into this blog! I apologize to any reader who has stuck around long enough to see me post this.... where has time gone? I am incredibly sorry for my unreliable blogging.
The older I get and the more exposed I become to life, I realize so very much. For starters, most of our life is spent either looking forward or backwards and never right then, in the present. Happy people have mastered this very task, embracing life as it comes. But what about people like me, the people who lack being content, what's our solution for happiness? I've spent so much time pinpointing happiness. Times like when I reach my target weight, get that super grade in a challenging class, form an ideal group of friends, or when a certain challenge I'm facing has disappeared. I've realized what I have been doing... I've been waiting for happiness to come to me instead of incorporating it into the present and where I am at that given moment. This creates a void of loneliness within, longing to be filled.
I have been waiting since August to be content. Something I've never going to be. It's not bad, but just who I am. Maybe it's the fact that I am perfectionist, a soaring eagle, or simply just a Type A personality, but I am always striving for bigger and better. The kids at school classify me as an "over-achiever," a title that I strive to keep. I love this trait of mine, but hate it just as much. I was thinking about this the other night when I had a revelation, "Are we ever really content?"
No, I don't think so. Life is always ready to throw us another curveball. We have to accept the clutter, disorganization, flaws, and imperfections in our life to be happy and to find that realistic level of contentness. (Yes, I know, that's not a word.)
As much of a big thinker as I claim to be, in some aspects of my life, I excessively micro-manage. I stress and sweat over the little things and treat every event as though it is life or death.
I've noticed something about myself, I notice things.
People tell me that noticing shortcomings and problems is great, the first step, the hardest part, what-have-you. This, however, is a false statement because we all notice, deep down, we all know. The challenge is not allowing ourselves to deny them. We have to either accept them or change them in order to reach this idea of content.
xoxo,
sarah elizabeth
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